How To Develop A Child's Self-confidence

How To Develop A Child's Self-confidence

Nov 10 , 2021


Sharkszors Team

5 minute read

Why helping a child to develop self-confidence is one of the most important parenting tasks?

A self-confident child will cope more successfully with obstacles and life challenges. Children with high self-esteem are not afraid of challenges, new things or change, and children with low self-esteem are usually withdrawn, insecure, do not like change, new tasks or challenges. They have a hard time dealing with criticism, failure and mistakes. Parents are the first to help a child feel capable and confident, valuable and loved.

Unconditional love

Tell your child often that you love him, that you are here for him no matter what happens (yes, even when he makes mistakes). Tell him how important he is to you and try not to embarrass him. A child must feel loved and accepted to develop into a confident person.

Encourage sign


When you often use negative and discouraging sentences they become reality. Instead of using "You can't do this," use “It will take some practice but you can do it”, instead "You do everything wrong," use “You do many things so good, but even the best make mistakes sometimes. You will get it right next time.”. You get the point, try using positive affirmations. Encourage your child to think about how he can improve a situation to achieve a goal.

Call your child by name

When speaking to your child, look him in the eye. Calling a child by his name is a powerful and easy way to send him a message that he is important.

Special tasks for your child

Have the child participate in the tasks that are appropriate for his age (helping with a pet or younger siblings…). A child will feel useful, responsible and competent. It is even better if you say that it is a special task


Play with your child. Allow him to choose an activity, give him the lead. That way you will build closeness, trust and most of all you are sending him a message that he is valuable and accomplished because you are interested in what he is doing.

Mum playing with child in the kitchen

Lead with example

Parents are the child's first and long-only model to imitate, so try to build your self-confidence. Start by positively valuing yourself, your partner, and others around your child.

Tell me what do you think?

In situations that are appropriate for their age, ask them what they think, because that way you show them that you appreciate them and that their ideas are important to you.

Teach them how to overcome challenges

Achieving goals and overcoming challenges help children feel competent. Goals should not be too difficult and unattainable, but also not too easy. Goals should be a positive challenge for the child.

Dedicate yourself to them

Devote undivided attention to children. The time you spend together should be devoid of cell phones, televisions and computers. Think neither of business commitments nor of what you did yesterday or what you will need to do tomorrow. Focus your thoughts on the present moment you are spending with your children.

Children acting


Learning acting is a great way to boost self-confidence in children. That way they break the fear of performing in front of other people. Learning different roles encourages children to think outside the box, they are more tolerant and less prone to stress.

Let them hear you praise them in front of others

A quick way to boost a child’s self-confidence is to be “accidentally” heard when you praise his hard work, accomplishments, and success in front of others. Children can be skeptical if you praise them often, and praise in front of others sometimes means more to them.

Don’t compare children

Comparisons with other children such as: "Why can't you be as good as ...", "See how good your brother is at school, why can't you be as good ..." undermine the child's self-confidence because they think they can't meet your expectations and that they are not good enough. Never tell a child that he cannot do something, that he is not capable of it, or that someone is better than him because he might believe it.

Hug them

And last but not least, hug your kids as often as possible. Tell them you love them, that you trust them. When you hug your children and express the love you will help them grow into self-confident, happy, and responsible people who will be able to make wise and mature decisions.

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